Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
