I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I want to have your abortion
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
