my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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