Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
