A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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