Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
