is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
