He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
