I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
