We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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