D3 body, D1 cock
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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