it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
