what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
