omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Randomize
