I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
