well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
