We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
