Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
