yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
