He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
