Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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