if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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