I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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