operation harelip BJ is a go
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
