she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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