We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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