I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
