I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
