I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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