i barfeds in our rink
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
