I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
