garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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