It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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