First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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