Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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