we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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