so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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