if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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