Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
