So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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