Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
