at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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