so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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