your parents love me but you hate me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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