Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
