So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
