And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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