Where is the hickey?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
