you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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