i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
