Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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